Rosie

this past week has been the absolute craziest most insane week of my whole life. between dealing with certain people and getting to school at like dawn and stupid world lit II paper...i am completely exhausted. im so sad that student directed is over. directing a show is a lot harder then it looks..even when its short. im so reliever though cause i think one more day of this would have like killed me ha. its one thing to direct a show and its another to direct a show senior year of high school with your opening the week before midterm week. i love my cast and the other casts and everyone working on the show...and it was an AMAZING experience and we had an amazing result. i dont care if people didnt "get" my show or like it...it cause they were not paying attention or they just couldnt open up to it. im so proud of everyone.

yesterday was strike. it was sad but relieving. afterwards a bunch of us went to laurens. we wanted to play sports outside, but it turned into a tackle orgy. everyone was just like tackling and beating each other up. it was actually wonderful and so much fun but now i cant move. i think my rib cage was like crushed ha.

last night we had informal at lin's house. it was the best thing ever. sooo much fun. everyone was just so relieved and chill and it was so called for. i love my friends so much.

now i have to think about midterms. blehh. but before i do that i have to take another nap cause im actually exhausted.

yaya life. yay student directed!

i have never been so stressed in my life. i just had the worst meltdown ever. like....ive never had an actual crazy meltdown over school and stuf...and it was pretty bad. i dont even know what to do. this is so unfair...i physically cannot take all this stress...i was home for a total of 20 minutes yesterday. no joke. i had schoool rehearshal till FOREVER then i slept at laurens for this stupid lab. and had to be at school at like freakin dawn. student directed is over in like a day...but this whole week ive stayed strong and together for everyone else and now i just cant do it....and into the woods rehearsals are driving me insane and i have these two stupid labs...and i lost my notebook and world lit II which i think im just not gonna edit..i just cant do it. i cant take it. i want it to be summer right now. im sleep deprived and overworked and i just cant do it. absolutely cannot do it. I would give up but i cant give up or ill fail out of life thanks to the stupid end of the marking period being tomorrow. and i cant miss more then like 5 periods cause of stupid idiot rules that wont let me go to student directed. and i hate the janitors. they definitely threw out my notebook. which has my life in it at the moment. janitors ruin lives.

i did one of those say 10 things about 10 people anonymously deals a short while ago and looking back on it...there was not one in which i told the truth. not one. i was too afraid that people were gonna assume things and get mad at me. well, as of right now i dont care what people think anymore. im going to redo it. not right now but sometime soon and this time im NOT gonna lie.

midsummer is over :(
it was one of the best experiences of my life. i honestly did not think i was gonna miss it this much. but i do. i feel like yesterday was dress rehearshal and we were being starved and kept in the auditorium. and now...its over? what? im sad but thats theatre.

i really have no time to mourn though. cause student directed auditions are TOMORROW. it hasnt even hit me yet that im directing a play. but it better by 3:00 tomorrow...or im screwed.

someone needs to teach me calculus.

i got a peppermint hot chocolate at starbucks and i am so happy.

three days of school this week.

that is all.

one more thing!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GENE!!!!! <33333

thats better.

i dont even know what to say. i would do anything for my friends. i have stayed up till 3 in the morning and went out of my way SO MANY TIMES for every single one of my friends. and i would glady do it over and over again. but how come absolutly no one can ever do anything for me? i love helping out people i love and making them happy. but what about me? dont i deserve that? sometimes..no scratch that..USUALLY people are selfish little bitches who only think about themselves. its so rude and it really shows how you care...not. this isnt about one particular person. its a few. some of my friends are amazing and i know they would do everything i do for them. and i love it. but most of them just think about themselves and dont give a shit.
if you really dont care about me i never ever wanna hear you say "oh tell me about your probelms" or ANYTHING to that sort. i will laugh. in your face.

oh, and also CHILL OUT. why does everyone constantly need power? why cant people ever just work together and not be yelling all the time. i dont get it just CHILL THE F OUT. i get tired to. but i try not to make other people feel like SHIT. stop thinking your the only one in the world who is worked hard. cause your not. thanks.


now thats over with...COME SEE MIDSUMMER!!!! tomorrow and friday are sold out...but if you hurry you can get tickets saturday matinee and evening!!
yay!

sooo rocky closed last night :( im obvs really sad...but it was a lot of fun and cant disregard all of that! we still have mad pics and videos and shiznet like that...and i made a lot of new awesome friends. so many good things! yay ypt rocky '06...i love you all soo muchhh

today was kinda blah. i woke up and then went to see liv and mj's show. basically they were amazing. im so proud of both of them!! and congrats you two for getting into our town. <33 my friends are so talented! :)

ive been thinking about college lately and its scaring the crap outta me. i dont even know if i got in anywhere yet...i dont even think the guidance dept sent our all my apps...and im already freaking out about leaving home. is that normal?!? i dont even know. i mean im so excited but so scared. and i know i have SO much time and i shouldnt think about leaving yet, but i cant help it. i need a distraction.

i hate being alone. im alone so much and its the worst thing ever. i mean everyone once in a while its okay, you obviously need that...but i feel like im alone so much. i dont know what i mean by this...ive just felt lonely in general lately. even though i shouldnt, i do. its kinda weird. mmhm

kay last thing. im directing one of the student directed plays at school, and im obviously really excited...but im so nervous. i hope i dont mess everything up. im not going into detail on here obvs..buttttt just a thought.

i need to hold a baby. i really really do.

i think those are all my rants for the moment. back to theatre IV portfolio idiot. peaceee out.

i feel so much better about a lot of things.

thank you to certain people :)
no thanks to some, but what can you do?


yay life!

dear *insert name*
you confuse me very much. i dont know if you do it on purpose, or if you are just like this. i really dont know what i should do about it. if i try to fix it it always gets reversed. you told me one thing but act a different way and i just dont understand. you dont take hints very well. you should stop kissing yourself in the mirror, realize that sometimes some people have different opinions then you and look around.
from, rosie

dear *insert name*
i love you so much. nobody will ever understand. i cry about it all the time, and even if i dont cry, i think about it. im just so angry at what happened and i wish i could go back in time and fix everything. its so bad and so wrong.
from, rosie



yay! i like doing this. im really not an upset and angry person. im just very open with my feeling. maybe too open for livejournal sometimes. but i dont care.

on the contrary, im in a lighter mood at the moment. and despite the way i have been acting for the past few weeks, i am rather happy with my life. of course there are things i would love to change, but who doesnt have those?

i should go to sleep. salt marsh trip part II tomorrow. um...yay....?

sometimes. my. friends. suck.

a) your missing the point.
b) why do you still talk to me? if your gonna be a bitch leave me alone.
c) LEAVE ME ALONE.
d) WHAT. is. your. deal.
e) then dont.
f) thanks.


but i must say i love everyone in the rocky cast. im so happy i have that escape from like...my life. i have met so many amazing people and i have so much fun with them (ie-halloween). ugh im gonna be so upset when this is all over :(

so tired. awesome show tonight. peace out.