Rosie

this past week has been the absolute craziest most insane week of my whole life. between dealing with certain people and getting to school at like dawn and stupid world lit II paper...i am completely exhausted. im so sad that student directed is over. directing a show is a lot harder then it looks..even when its short. im so reliever though cause i think one more day of this would have like killed me ha. its one thing to direct a show and its another to direct a show senior year of high school with your opening the week before midterm week. i love my cast and the other casts and everyone working on the show...and it was an AMAZING experience and we had an amazing result. i dont care if people didnt "get" my show or like it...it cause they were not paying attention or they just couldnt open up to it. im so proud of everyone.

yesterday was strike. it was sad but relieving. afterwards a bunch of us went to laurens. we wanted to play sports outside, but it turned into a tackle orgy. everyone was just like tackling and beating each other up. it was actually wonderful and so much fun but now i cant move. i think my rib cage was like crushed ha.

last night we had informal at lin's house. it was the best thing ever. sooo much fun. everyone was just so relieved and chill and it was so called for. i love my friends so much.

now i have to think about midterms. blehh. but before i do that i have to take another nap cause im actually exhausted.

yaya life. yay student directed!

i have never been so stressed in my life. i just had the worst meltdown ever. like....ive never had an actual crazy meltdown over school and stuf...and it was pretty bad. i dont even know what to do. this is so unfair...i physically cannot take all this stress...i was home for a total of 20 minutes yesterday. no joke. i had schoool rehearshal till FOREVER then i slept at laurens for this stupid lab. and had to be at school at like freakin dawn. student directed is over in like a day...but this whole week ive stayed strong and together for everyone else and now i just cant do it....and into the woods rehearsals are driving me insane and i have these two stupid labs...and i lost my notebook and world lit II which i think im just not gonna edit..i just cant do it. i cant take it. i want it to be summer right now. im sleep deprived and overworked and i just cant do it. absolutely cannot do it. I would give up but i cant give up or ill fail out of life thanks to the stupid end of the marking period being tomorrow. and i cant miss more then like 5 periods cause of stupid idiot rules that wont let me go to student directed. and i hate the janitors. they definitely threw out my notebook. which has my life in it at the moment. janitors ruin lives.

i did one of those say 10 things about 10 people anonymously deals a short while ago and looking back on it...there was not one in which i told the truth. not one. i was too afraid that people were gonna assume things and get mad at me. well, as of right now i dont care what people think anymore. im going to redo it. not right now but sometime soon and this time im NOT gonna lie.

midsummer is over :(
it was one of the best experiences of my life. i honestly did not think i was gonna miss it this much. but i do. i feel like yesterday was dress rehearshal and we were being starved and kept in the auditorium. and now...its over? what? im sad but thats theatre.

i really have no time to mourn though. cause student directed auditions are TOMORROW. it hasnt even hit me yet that im directing a play. but it better by 3:00 tomorrow...or im screwed.

someone needs to teach me calculus.

i got a peppermint hot chocolate at starbucks and i am so happy.

three days of school this week.

that is all.

one more thing!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GENE!!!!! <33333

thats better.

i dont even know what to say. i would do anything for my friends. i have stayed up till 3 in the morning and went out of my way SO MANY TIMES for every single one of my friends. and i would glady do it over and over again. but how come absolutly no one can ever do anything for me? i love helping out people i love and making them happy. but what about me? dont i deserve that? sometimes..no scratch that..USUALLY people are selfish little bitches who only think about themselves. its so rude and it really shows how you care...not. this isnt about one particular person. its a few. some of my friends are amazing and i know they would do everything i do for them. and i love it. but most of them just think about themselves and dont give a shit.
if you really dont care about me i never ever wanna hear you say "oh tell me about your probelms" or ANYTHING to that sort. i will laugh. in your face.

oh, and also CHILL OUT. why does everyone constantly need power? why cant people ever just work together and not be yelling all the time. i dont get it just CHILL THE F OUT. i get tired to. but i try not to make other people feel like SHIT. stop thinking your the only one in the world who is worked hard. cause your not. thanks.


now thats over with...COME SEE MIDSUMMER!!!! tomorrow and friday are sold out...but if you hurry you can get tickets saturday matinee and evening!!
yay!

sooo rocky closed last night :( im obvs really sad...but it was a lot of fun and cant disregard all of that! we still have mad pics and videos and shiznet like that...and i made a lot of new awesome friends. so many good things! yay ypt rocky '06...i love you all soo muchhh

today was kinda blah. i woke up and then went to see liv and mj's show. basically they were amazing. im so proud of both of them!! and congrats you two for getting into our town. <33 my friends are so talented! :)

ive been thinking about college lately and its scaring the crap outta me. i dont even know if i got in anywhere yet...i dont even think the guidance dept sent our all my apps...and im already freaking out about leaving home. is that normal?!? i dont even know. i mean im so excited but so scared. and i know i have SO much time and i shouldnt think about leaving yet, but i cant help it. i need a distraction.

i hate being alone. im alone so much and its the worst thing ever. i mean everyone once in a while its okay, you obviously need that...but i feel like im alone so much. i dont know what i mean by this...ive just felt lonely in general lately. even though i shouldnt, i do. its kinda weird. mmhm

kay last thing. im directing one of the student directed plays at school, and im obviously really excited...but im so nervous. i hope i dont mess everything up. im not going into detail on here obvs..buttttt just a thought.

i need to hold a baby. i really really do.

i think those are all my rants for the moment. back to theatre IV portfolio idiot. peaceee out.

i feel so much better about a lot of things.

thank you to certain people :)
no thanks to some, but what can you do?


yay life!

dear *insert name*
you confuse me very much. i dont know if you do it on purpose, or if you are just like this. i really dont know what i should do about it. if i try to fix it it always gets reversed. you told me one thing but act a different way and i just dont understand. you dont take hints very well. you should stop kissing yourself in the mirror, realize that sometimes some people have different opinions then you and look around.
from, rosie

dear *insert name*
i love you so much. nobody will ever understand. i cry about it all the time, and even if i dont cry, i think about it. im just so angry at what happened and i wish i could go back in time and fix everything. its so bad and so wrong.
from, rosie



yay! i like doing this. im really not an upset and angry person. im just very open with my feeling. maybe too open for livejournal sometimes. but i dont care.

on the contrary, im in a lighter mood at the moment. and despite the way i have been acting for the past few weeks, i am rather happy with my life. of course there are things i would love to change, but who doesnt have those?

i should go to sleep. salt marsh trip part II tomorrow. um...yay....?

sometimes. my. friends. suck.

a) your missing the point.
b) why do you still talk to me? if your gonna be a bitch leave me alone.
c) LEAVE ME ALONE.
d) WHAT. is. your. deal.
e) then dont.
f) thanks.


but i must say i love everyone in the rocky cast. im so happy i have that escape from like...my life. i have met so many amazing people and i have so much fun with them (ie-halloween). ugh im gonna be so upset when this is all over :(

so tired. awesome show tonight. peace out.

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I. HATE. RESEARCH. COMMISSION. I HATE IT SO MUCH ITS SO DUMB. why is it that we get like 4 days to write this stupid paper?!?!?!
okay first of all we really couldnt start until we went to the perfom arts library...and w did on friday. that gives us like 4 days.
AND everyones like...its okay its a rough draft....YOU STILL HAVE TO WRITE IT. i dont even know where to begin. i have everything like thrown around and i cant like do this. i hateeee ittt soo mcuhhhhdkasl;dkasl;djaslkdasj

to nobody in particular. just a general note.
YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE BETTER BUT YOU ARE NOT SHUT UP AND DONT SPEAK IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO AND ALL YOUR GOING TO DO IS PISS PEOPLE OFF LIKE ME WHO ARE ALREADY STRESSED AND HAVE NO TIME TO LIVE. thanks.

f you. f you. f you. f you.

you think you have a lot of work? I HOPE YOU GET PREGNANT.

P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T. bitch.


WHY. just casue you pay more to get brainwashed. SHUT UP.


seriously.


somebody kill me.

1. List some things you want to say to 10 different people but you know you probably never will.
2. Don't say who they are.
3. Feel free to comment, but don't confirm or answer anything.
4. Never discuss it again.


1. I miss you so much. I dont even know if you remember me, but we used to be best friends a long long time ago. I still have a picture of us on my wall. We havent talked in the longest time, but i was thinking about you the other day and wondering what you are up to. I hope that we can talk soon.

2. I dont even know what to say. When i think about what we had, i get really upset. Ive been through so much with you and i dont know if we can ever go back to that. I really wish that we could. Maybe one day you will see what i see and it will all be better. I really so love you so much.

3. Sometimes i dont really understand you. I mean you will love me and we will be best friends and then the next second we like arent talking. Sometimes you say things that i think are ridiculous but i go along with cause i dont want to disagree with you. I cant find it in myself to stay mad at you. I also get really jealous of your relationship with other people sometimes.

4. You have confused me so much i give up. I truly honestly give up and im happy at this point. I guess ive accepted it.

5. I cant even THINK about leaving you for college. You have become my sister. No, you have become closer to me than a sister. We fight so much and i get mad at you so much but i cant stay that way. thank you for being my best friend ever.

6. I really want to be good friends with you. I think your so awesome and funny and i wish that we talked more! I mean i see you like...every day, but we have never really had a deep conversation.

7. I met you this summer and im SO GLAD i did. We were like best friends the moment we were introduced. Despite my early lj post, you are one person i CAN tell everything too. I wish you didnt live so far away though! grr.

8. You make me feel so amazing about everything. Your one of the few people that i could spend a week with and not get sick of in the slightest. I dont get to see you too often (*sad face*) but when i do, its so much fun. If only we lived closer together. I hope that we stay friends for a long time cause i can use somebody like you in my life.

9. You make me feel so bad about myself. I hate when im around you and i hate when you pretend to be nice to me. Just get over it and see that not everything is about you. I have tried so hard and nothing has worked. So i guess i just give up.

10. Im so jealous of you. You have everything that i want and i really hope that maybe one day i can. You make me realize that the impression i give off isnt what i want people to think of me, but i dont know how to change it and i envy you for being able to do something that i cannot.

sometimes i dont understand my friends and i wonder why they dont care as much as i think they should. i mean, when my friends come to me to tell me something i love to listen and talk about it but i have absolutly nobody at this point that i can talk to. i cannot think of one person who wouldnt get annoyed if i talked to them about whats on my mind. not one person.

people are so selfish. even im selfish. like...have you ever "listened" to a friend's story just so you could get your turn to talk? im not saying i do that like all the time and what not but from now on im going to try to listen and really understand what my friend's tell me. i wanna hear about things and i want to hear about what goes on in their lives when im not around. i just wish i had someone who could say that about me.


sorry i had to ramble on about that. but on a lighter note, i had a really fun weekend!! friday i saw nightmare with some peeps and then ari slept over :) saturday i had crew and just hung out until rocky...then gooooooood timessss at colies. haha whatever i had so much fun there. i love rocky people so much. i dont want this show to end!! everyone lives to farrrr ughh. or maybe i just live too far from everyone. jdaajdl.


so i just have to get through this stupid week. this weekend is going to be amazing i can feel it. between sweet 16s and costumes and mainstage rocky anddd halloween and everything!!!

yay sleep. i meant to be asleep 3 hours ago. i fail.

ok so lets play a game called WHY IS ROSIE NOT GETTING INTO COLLEGE

a) because she is not smart enough
b) because she is poor
c) because she is too ordinary
d) because her essay sucks
e) because there is nothing special about her that the next person doesnt have
f) all of the above



if you guessed f, you are right.


yay!


kill me.

its only monday ew.
i love driving.
on wednesday i dont have school till 11. thank you psats.

*talks on the phone to dave for an hour*

okay im back.
i just discovered there ar some of our rocky vids on youtube. thats pretty sick.
i really love rocky. and all the people in it. so much. when its over i dont know what i will do :(

my life is kinda boring.
but despite that im a really happy kid.
i love autumn. and pumpkins. and hay (?) and halloween and leaves and everything.
i love my friends.
and i love meeting new people.
and i love being seductive in midsummer. obvs.

i love writing stupid pointless random livejournals. yay!

soooo I CAN LEGALLY DRIVE. thats right. im soo happy FINALLY ive been waiting so loong haha.
ps-save the "stay off the sidewalk" and "oh no im never going on the road again" jokes. they are sooo old haha

mmm im like 99.8 percent done with college apps....i should finish that .2 percent then im DONE schweeet.

this weekend is busy...but like a good busy! tomorrow i have crew and then molly and i plan to work on our halloween costumes. they are going to be sick. like a good sick. not a blah sick. i have rocky at midnight, pumpkin picking sunday and then a show sunday night! busy girl! but i love every minute of it :)

so ive been really happy lately but theres something like in the back of my mind constantly bothering meeee. i sort of know what it is...but i cant like put it into words. and that will get me nowhere. so i guess i just have to deal.

mmmmm sleep is a good thing. and i have a feeling i wont be getting much this weekend. woot woot.

mmm this week is going sooooooooooo slllllloooooowwww

like cmon now... tomorrow is only thursday? why? stupid honor society thing after school and at night. idiot. I DONT WANT TO GO. south side is silly.

erm this weekend was a lot of fun. some pretty cool rocky shows. they were fun and...rocky-like.....aaaaaand awesome times sleeping at jackie's hahaha i love drama at 1am <33 i told myself that i would finish my college apps this weekend...but that didnt happen mmm so this weekend DEFINITLY...hit thaaat shiznet up.

so i sorta kinda love my friends more then aaanything in the whooole entire world. like...boopboopbedoopboop. thats all i have to say. shmeeeeeep shmoooooop. boopbbopboo.

round that to the nearest billionth please and thank you.


i should be ASLEEP but im NOT. thats a problem. but i really physically cant like fall asleep before like 11:30. unless its like not a school night. why is that? i dont understand. hmm i seem to be bad at this understanding game.

merpmoop. weird noises.

okay never mind.

i had a good day today :) homecoming was nice and kristen and jill came to rvc! so them, liv, mj, molly and myself played games in rockville centre. they stole my turtle and put it on mjs roof, what else is new. tonight im going to dinner and then rocky is tonight. im excited :) theres another show tomorrow!! yay!!!!!

so people are strange sometimes.

yay life i love october. halloween is my favorite thing ever. i love rocky. yay.


I LOVE KRISTEN MALDONADOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<33333333333333333333333333 (edit-by kristen)

i didnt have a very good day today, not gunna lie.

im really sick with a cold and such, and i had bad cramps this morning. during english 1st per i went to the nurse and laid  down with a heating pad...it was so bad...i wouldnt usually do that but like i had to. i felt like i was gonna die. so after that i felt a little better and went to gym etc etc. it was just a blah day and i kept like feeling really cold...but then really hott...but then really cold again. it was strange. but im home now and im gonna finish hw and go to bed early! woot woot.

time to talk about the weekend. i basically had the best weekend ever...you should be jealous. friday night i hung out with jill molly and liv. i had good times with dance parties in my room and bad dunkin donuts caramel lattes. mm. then they snatched my turtle. that in itself is another whole elaborate story...but ill say it quickly. liv and molly and jill got the turtle in mollys car and started to drive away but im jumped on the car....however that didnt stop them. then jill and i were sketchy and with the help of my mom hid at mollys house and stole the turtle back. buahahaha turtle thiefs will never defeat me. ever.

saturday my fam came for some birthday fun woop woop. then at like 8ish molly and i went to kristens house cause kristen said she had a surprise for me. IT WAS THE BEST SURPRISE EVER!!! gina was there! from miami! to see rocky at midnight! omg it was the best thing ever. i was so happy and ahhh it was amazing. we ate dinner and tara came and stayed a little until we met ryan jill and olivia at rocky. yay seven reunite! rocky was amazing and i had so much fun. we slept...well kinda slept... at kristens and i went home in the morning.

basically, it was amazing. and im a very happy girl. and other things are happy as well.... :)

i love the seven. and nair and tigers and FRESH LINEN SCENT and stupidfaces and raptors. my friends are amazing. like absolutly amazing and i dont know what else to say except i love and care for them so much <33



yay happy! im a little annoyed about some things from school today but ill save it so this entry can end on a happier note



seven <3

sooo hmmm yeah lets see. nope. 

wish wish wish wish wish wish wish wish wish hope.

yep.

i dont even know.




tomorrows my BIRTHDAY woot woot. im gonna be 17 and able to drive! yay!

COME SEE ROCKY THIS WEEKEND. sat at midnight. please?


3 day weekend with the best. yay!